Angel

Meanwhile, she gathered the bunch of manila folders, threw them off the bed and removed her satin robe.

Kevin was across the room in two strides.

Stretching out on the bed next to her, he took her in his arms, murmuring her name, nuzzling her neck. But after a moment or two he rolled over to his side, groped in the drawer of the bedside table for a condom. Damn things. He hated them. On the other hand, he was well aware of AIDS and what was going on out there. After Sunny had left his life, there had been other women from time to time, although no serious involvement. He was absolutely positive he was all right, but it was best to be careful, to take precautions for her sake. Kevin swallowed a sigh. This was a dangerous age they lived in. Sex and death walked side by side these days.

She stroked his back as he fumbled with the packet, then began to kiss him between his shoulder blades, whispering his name over and over, telling him how excited she was, how much she wanted him. Her words were erotic, tantalizing, and his erection grew harder, and suddenly he had no problem dealing with the rubber sheath.

Turning to her, he kissed her on the mouth. Once again, after a few passionate kisses, he let his lips trail down over her exposed breasts. Her nipples were erect, growing tauter under his mouth, sending a thrill through him. He ran his hands down over her lithe, satin-clad body. The fabric was sensual, just as she was, her body heat increasing as he lowered his head to kiss her stomach and thighs through the thin material.

Impatiently, he pulled at the nightgown, and she sat up, helped him to take it off. Her eyes, impaling his, were full of emotion, her desire naked on her face. She lay down again, and he savoured her beautiful body with his eyes, admiring the tautness of the pale ivory skin, smooth and sleek like the satin nightgown he had just taken off.

He knew she wanted his hands on her, and so he let his fingers explore that tender and secret part of her, at first moving them gently on the fleshy core, gradually increasing the pressure until she was trembling under his touch. Crouching over her, Kevin brought his mouth down to her thighs, began to kiss her, slipped his fingers into her. Within seconds she stiffened; a deep spasm ran through her and she climaxed, a moan trickling out of her throat, her body throbbing with intense pleasure.

‘Kevin,’ she said at last, her voice so low he could hardly hear it. ‘Oh, Kevin, darling.’

Kevin threw himself up along the bed, in order to rest his head against hers on the pillow. He murmured, ‘Did I please you?’

‘You always do. And you always have, from the very first time. There’s never been anyone like you.’ She sat up, adopted a kneeling position, stared down into his dark eyes, smoothing one finger over his black eyebrows, and then his lips, and with a small smile of pleasure she lowered her mouth to his, kissing him tenderly.

Wanting her so much he could hardly stand it, Kevin pulled her on top of him almost roughly, continuing to kiss her and fondle her breasts. As always, she met his kisses with equal fervour, but suddenly she leaned back on her haunches, bent over him, began to kiss his chest and his belly, running the tip of her tongue over his body until he thought he was going to explode.

Swiftly he drew her up to rest beside him, lay on top of her and, bracing his hands on either side of her, he entered her with some force, moving against her, wanting to satisfy her. Wrapping her legs around his back, she clung to him, moving in rhythm with him, but he was aware she was holding back.

‘Come to me,’ he breathed against her face.

‘No,’ she whispered back, ‘I’m waiting for you.’ Yet as she was speaking a deep trembling seized her, the heat flowed out of her, enveloping him, and she cried, ‘Kevin!’

Her reaction to him never failed to excite him, and as she continued to move against him he could no longer control himself. ‘Oh God, Nell, I’m coming,’ he gasped. ‘Oh, Nell! Oh, Nell!’

She lay within the circle of his arms, her head resting on his chest, her eyes closed, her breathing light and even.

Kevin glanced down at her, half smiling to himself. With her he enjoyed the aftermath of lovemaking as much as the sexual act itself. He was as relaxed as she was, and at ease with her, and with himself, was always comfortable in her presence. Perhaps this was because he had known her since she was seventeen. Like his sister Rosie, her best friend, she was thirty-one now, but at this particular moment she looked much younger, more like a woman in her early twenties, her figure girlish, her skin youthful, her face without a line.

Nell Jeffrey had become very special to him, and whenever he was with her he felt renewed. Every day the city claimed a little bit more of him, but when he was with Nell she somehow managed to claim part of him back, or so it seemed to him, and without even knowing she was doing so. She was restoring him to himself, in a way.

To a certain extent, Kevin was able to lose himself in Nell, and when he did some of the pain went away, and his heartache and sadness about Sunny dimmed. In any case, it was as if Sunny was dead, considering her terrible condition, and life was for the living, wasn’t it? Certainly he had come to understand this very well during the past year, especially since Nell had become such an essential part of his life.

These days he found himself thinking less and less about Sunny; six years was a long time, after all. And anyway, about nine months ago he had started to cut back on his visits, although this was her sister Elena’s idea, not his. It would be easier on Sunny if he didn’t come quite so frequently, Elena had said to him one Sunday afternoon at the mental home, since she appeared to grow more agitated whenever he was present. It was as if vaguely, somewhere in her demented and damaged brain, Sunny recalled that they had had something together once, and that this knowledge disturbed her. At least, so Elena had said to him that day.

Finally, three months ago, he had stopped going to New Haven altogether. Her family seemed to be relieved that he had made this decision; he discovered that he was, too.

But occasionally he wondered if he was being a moral coward, shirking his duty. When he had voiced this thought to Nell she had been vociferous in her insistence that he was not only doing the right thing, but the only thing he could do.

‘You can’t help her,’ Nell had said. ‘All you’re doing is rubbing salt into your wounds. Not only that, she’s an albatross around your neck, weighing you down. You’ve got to let Sunny go – for your own sake. You’ve got a life to live, for God’s sake.’ Her strong words had helped him, and lately he had come to realize that a burden had been lifted. Nell was right, Sunny was a part of his past, and he had to let go of certain parts of his past in order to move forward.

Now his memories of Sunny were of the early years when they were kids. He supposed it was easier to remember her before she had become a junkie craving dope, willing to do anything to get it. And he had begun to admit to himself that he felt better than he had in years. Thanks again, in no small measure, to his friend Nell.

Kevin buried his face in her hair. It was soft and silky, fragrant with the scent of lemon verbena, just as every part of her was sweet-smelling and fresh. Deeply, he breathed in the perfume of her; it helped to kill the stench of the city that forever filled his nostrils.

Nell was such a part of his life now he couldn’t imagine what it would be like without her. But it was odd how they had become lovers so suddenly, a year ago, and after knowing each other for fourteen years.

Gavin had come to New York last October to see Nell on business. He was en route to London for meetings about Kingmaker, which at last he had managed to get under way. His old friend had phoned him, had invited him to join the two of them for dinner, and since he was taking a few days of R&R he was able to accept. He had not seen either of them for well over a year, and it had been a marvellous evening, full of good humour and laughter, shared reminiscences and lots of genuine affection.

They had eaten in Gavin’s suite at the Carlyle Hotel, and when he and Nell left, long after midnight, he had insisted on taking her home. Even though it had been a cold night, they had walked to her apartment, and when they reached the building on Park Avenue where she lived she had invited him in for a nightcap.

While she had filled two brandy balloons with Remy Martin, he had set a match to the logs and paper in the grate, and then they had sat on the sofa together, savouring the aged cognac, chatting about their present lives as well as old times.

As long as he lived, he would never know how it had happened. All of a sudden, she was in his arms and he was kissing her, and she was responding ardently. And they ended up making passionate love on the rug in front of the blazing fire.

It had been a Friday night, and because he was off duty he had been able to spend the weekend with her. Cosseted in the warmth and comfort of her beautiful apartment, and smitten with each other, they had forgotten the everyday world they lived in, their pain and their worries for the next forty-eight hours.

At one point, during the weekend, they had talked about Mikey, who had vanished the year before. Everyone was troubled by his mysterious disappearance, and most especially Nell. After their youthful romance had ended, they had remained good friends, drawing even closer over the ensuing years, sharing confidences as old pals so frequently do.

That night when she and Kevin had first made love, Nell had told him that this was one of the reasons she was so concerned about Mikey; it was simply inconceivable to her that he had chosen to leave New York without telling her he was going away. Or where he was heading.

What Kevin had thought but not said that night was that perhaps Mikey hadn’t had a chance to tell her. No one really knew what had happened to him, not even his room mate. He had simply vanished.

Kevin had often thought that Mikey might easily have been the victim of foul play. Being a cop, he was only too well aware of the frightening statistics – every year hundreds of thousands of Americans disappeared without a trace. Few were ever found, or showed up again to pick up their lives. The Missing Persons List at his own precinct was dismaying, miles long.

Nell stirred in his arms.

Kevin glanced down at her.

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, returning his steady gaze. ‘That’s a mighty serious face you’re wearing, Kevin mine. Is something troubling you?’

Although there was no subterfuge between them, only honesty and straightforwardness, he chose not to mention Mikey at this moment. It was inappropriate. And so he said, ‘I was thinking about us, Nell, how we’ve been seeing each other for a year now. Yet nobody knows about us.’

‘Neil O’Connor certainly does,’ she said, and laughed.

‘I was talking about our nearest and dearest.’

‘You mean you haven’t mentioned it to Gavin?’

‘I’ve not seen him this year, except for those few days when I came to London during filming. Besides, you should know I’m not the sort of guy to kiss and tell. And I know you haven’t confided in Rosie, or she would have mentioned it.’

‘I don’t know why I’ve never told her, Kev, or why we’ve kept it a secret, and we have done that, you know.’ Nell moved closer to him, put her arms around him, held him tightly. After a moment, she added, ‘I suppose I should say something to her. We are best friends.’

‘It’ll please her…that we’re seeing each other, I mean.’

‘Oh, yes, she’ll be approving!’ Nell exclaimed, leaning her head back, looking up at him, eyeing him a bit coquettishly. ‘Of that I can assure you, my darling. Oh yes, she’ll give us her blessing all right.’

‘When is she coming back from LA?’

‘Good God, Kevin, she only left last night. But I expect she’ll return with me.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m going to the West Coast myself –’