Steel Resolve

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.” He hoped that maybe now Fiona would finally be at peace.

Looking toward the wide-open horizon, he turned his thoughts to Mary. He couldn’t wait to look into her beautiful blue eyes and tell her that he’d never stopped loving her. That thought made him even more anxious. He couldn’t wait to get home.

* * *

DILLON WALKED HER to her door and waited while Mary pulled out her keys.

“I had a wonderful time,” he said as he leaned casually against the side of her building as if waiting to see if she was going to invite him up. Clouds scudded past the full moon to disappear over the mountaintops surrounding the canyon. The cool night air smelled of pine and clear blue trout stream water. This part of Montana was a little bit of Heaven, her mother was fond of saying. Mary agreed.

She’d left a light on in her apartment on the top floor. It glowed a warm inviting golden hue.

“I had fun too,” she said, and considered asking him up to see the view from what she jokingly called her penthouse. The balcony off the back would be especially nice tonight. But her tongue seemed tied, and suddenly she felt tired and close to tears.

“I should go,” Dillon said, his gaze locking with hers. He seemed about to take a step back, but changed his mind and leaned toward her. His hand cupped her jaw as he kissed her. Chastely at first, then with more ardor, gently drawing her to him. The kiss took her by surprise. Their first date he hadn’t even tried.

His tongue probed her mouth for a moment before he ended the kiss as abruptly as it had begun. Stepping back, he seemed to study her in the moonlight for a moment before he said, “I really do have to go. Maybe we could do something this weekend if you aren’t busy?”

She nodded dumbly. She and Dillon were close to the same age, both adults. She’d expected him to kiss her on their first date. So her surprise tonight had nothing to do with him kissing her, she thought as she entered her building, locking the door behind her and hurrying up to her apartment.

It had everything to do with the kiss.

Mary unlocked her apartment door with trembling fingers, stepped in and locked it behind her. She leaned against the door, hot tears filling her eyes as she told herself she shouldn’t be disappointed. But she was.

The kiss had been fine, as far as kisses went. But even when Dillon had deepened the kiss, she had felt nothing but emptiness. The memory made her feel sick. Would she always compare every kiss with Chase’s? Would every man she met come up lacking?

She didn’t bother to turn on a lamp as she tossed her purse down and headed toward her bedroom, furious with herself. And even more furious with Chase. He’d left her and Montana as if what they had together meant nothing to him. Clearly it didn’t. That’s why he’d gotten engaged and wasn’t man enough to call her himself and tell her.

Still mentally kicking herself for writing that letter to him, she changed into her favorite T-shirt and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Her image in the mirror startled her. She was no longer that young girl that Chase had fallen in love with. She was a woman in her own right. She dried her tears, the crying replaced with angry determination. If that was the way Chase wanted to be, then it was fine with her.

Her cell phone rang, startling her. She hurried to it, and for just a moment she thought it was going to be Chase. Her heart had soared, then come crashing down. Chase had moved on. When was she going to accept that?

“I couldn’t quit thinking about you after I left,” Dillon said. “I was wondering if you’d like to go to the movies tomorrow night?”

She didn’t hesitate. “I’d love to.” Maybe she just hadn’t been ready for his kiss. Maybe next time...

“Great,” Dillon said. “I’ll pick you up at 5:30 if that’s all right. We can grab something to eat before we go to the theater.”

“Sounds perfect.” If Chase could see her now, she thought as she hung up. Dillon was handsome, but less rugged looking than Chase. Taller though by a good inch or two, and he wanted to go out with her.

She disconnected, determined to put Chase Steele behind her. He had moved on and now she was too. Next time, she would invite Dillon up to her apartment. But even as she thought it, she imagined Chase and the woman he was engaged to. While she was busy comparing every man she met to him, he’d found someone and fallen in love. It made her question if what she and Chase once had was really that unique and special. Just because it had been for her...

Mary willed herself not to think about him. She touched her tongue to her lower lip. Dillon had made her laugh, and he’d certainly been attentive. While the kiss hadn’t spurred a reaction in her, she was willing to give it another chance.

Her father didn’t trust the man, so didn’t that mean that there was more to Dillon than met the eye? Chase had always been a little wild growing up. Her father had been worried about her relationship with him. Maybe there was some wildness in Dillon that would make him more interesting.

As she fell asleep though, her thoughts returned to Chase until her heart was aching and tears were leaking onto her pillow.

Chapter Four (#u334c3399-2d31-5bc5-abd0-da2e5de306d5)

“How was your date?”

Mary looked up the next morning to find her mother standing in the doorway of her office holding two cups of coffee from the shop across the street. “Tell me that’s an ultimate caramel frappaccino.”

Dana laughed. “Do you mean layers of whipped cream infused with rich coffee, white chocolate and dark caramel? Each layer sitting on a dollop of dark caramel sauce?”

“Apparently I’ve mentioned why I love it,” she said, smiling at her mother as Dana handed her the cup. She breathed in the sweet scent for a moment before she licked some of the whipped cream off the top. “I hope you got one of these for yourself.”

“Not likely,” her mother said as she sat down across the desk from her. “The calories alone scared me off. Anyway, you know I prefer my coffee to actually taste like coffee. That’s why I drink it black.”

Mary grimaced and shook her head, always amazed how much she looked like her mother but the similarities seemed to have stopped there. What they shared was their love of Montana and determination to keep Cardwell Ranch for future generations. At least for the ones who wanted to stay here. Her three brothers had left quickly enough, thrown to the far winds. She wondered about her own children—when she had them one day with the man she eventually married. Would they feel wanderlust like Chase had? She knew she wouldn’t be able to make them stay nearby any more than she had him.

She took a sip of her coffee, hating that she’d let her thoughts wander down that particular path.

“I’m trying to tell if the date went well or not,” her mother said, studying her openly. “When I walked in, I thought it had, but now you’re frowning. Is your coffee all right?”

Mary replaced her frown with a smile as she turned her attention to her mother and away from Chase. “My coffee is amazing. Thank you so much. It was just what I needed. Normally I try to get over to Lone Peak Perk when it opens, but this morning I was anxious to get to work. I wish they delivered.”

Her mother gave her a pointed look. “Are you purposely avoiding talking about your date, because I’m more interested in it than your coffee habit.”

Laughing, she said, “The date was fine. Good. Fun, actually. We’re going out again tonight.”

Her mother raised a brow. “Again already? So he was a perfect gentleman?” Her mother took a sip of her coffee as if pretending she wasn’t stepping over a line.

“You’re welcome to tell Dad that he was,” she said with a twinkle in her eye.

“Mary!” They both laughed. “So you like him?”

Mary nodded. Like was exactly the right word. She had hoped to feel more.

“You are impossible. You’re determined to make me drag everything out of you, aren’t you?”

“Not everything,” she said coyly. Her mother seemed to like this game they played. Mostly Dana seemed relieved that Mary was moving on after Chase. She didn’t like to see her daughter unhappy, Mary thought. It was time to quit moping over Chase, and they both knew it.

* * *

“SO HOW DID we do?” Deputy Dillon Ramsey asked his friend as he closed the cabin door and headed for the refrigerator for a beer as if he lived there.

“Picked up another three head of prime beef,” Grady Birch said, and quickly added, “They were patrolling the fences last night just like you said they would be. Smart to hit a ranch on the other side of the river. We got in and out. No sweat.”

“It’s nice that I know where the deputies will be watching.” Dillon grinned as he popped the top on his beer can and took a long swig.

“Trouble is, I heard around town that ranchers are going to start riding their fences. Word’s out.”

Dillon swore. “It was such easy pickings for a while.” He plopped down in one of the worn chairs in Grady’s cabin, feeling more at home in this ratty-ass place than in his nice apartment in Big Sky. “So we’ll cool it until the heat dies down.”

“Back to easy pickings, how did your date go?”

He grinned. “A couple more dates and I’ll have her eating out of my hand.”