Plays by Anton Chekhov, Second Series

CHEBUTIKIN. [Dances]

“Its walls are like a sieve!” [Laughter.]

TUZENBACH. [Kisses ANDREY] Hang it all, let’s drink. Andrey, old boy, let’s drink with you. And I’ll go with you, Andrey, to the University of Moscow.

SOLENI. Which one? There are two universities in Moscow.

ANDREY. There’s one university in Moscow.

SOLENI. Two, I tell you.

ANDREY. Don’t care if there are three. So much the better.

SOLENI. There are two universities in Moscow! [There are murmurs and “hushes”] There are two universities in Moscow, the old one and the new one. And if you don’t like to listen, if my words annoy you, then I need not speak. I can even go into another room… [Exit.]

TUZENBACH. Bravo, bravo! [Laughs] Come on, now. I’m going to play. Funny man, Soleni… [Goes to the piano and plays a waltz.]

MASHA. [Dancing solo] The Baron’s drunk, the Baron’s drunk, the Baron’s drunk!

[NATASHA comes in.]

NATASHA. [To CHEBUTIKIN] Ivan Romanovitch!

[Says something to CHEBUTIKIN, then goes out quietly; CHEBUTIKIN touches TUZENBACH on the shoulder and whispers something to him.]

IRINA. What is it?

CHEBUTIKIN. Time for us to go. Good-bye.

TUZENBACH. Good-night. It’s time we went.

IRINA. But, really, the entertainers?

ANDREY. [In confusion] There won’t be any entertainers. You see, dear, Natasha says that Bobby isn’t quite well, and so… In a word, I don’t care, and it’s absolutely all one to me.

IRINA. [Shrugging her shoulders] Bobby ill!

MASHA. What is she thinking of! Well, if they are sent home, I suppose they must go. [To IRINA] Bobby’s all right, it’s she herself… Here! [Taps her forehead] Little bourgeoise!

[ANDREY goes to his room through the right-hand door, CHEBUTIKIN follows him. In the dining-room they are saying good-bye.]

FEDOTIK. What a shame! I was expecting to spend the evening here, but of course, if the little baby is ill… I’ll bring him some toys to-morrow.

RODE. [Loudly] I slept late after dinner to-day because I thought I was going to dance all night. It’s only nine o’clock now!

MASHA. Let’s go into the street, we can talk there. Then we can settle things.

(Good-byes and good nights are heard. TUZENBACH’S merry laughter is heard. [All go out] ANFISA and the maid clear the table, and put out the lights. [The nurse sings] ANDREY, wearing an overcoat and a hat, and CHEBUTIKIN enter silently.)

CHEBUTIKIN. I never managed to get married because my life flashed by like lightning, and because I was madly in love with your mother, who was married.

ANDREY. One shouldn’t marry. One shouldn’t, because it’s dull.

CHEBUTIKIN. So there I am, in my loneliness. Say what you will, loneliness is a terrible thing, old fellow… Though really… of course, it absolutely doesn’t matter!

ANDREY. Let’s be quicker.

CHEBUTIKIN. What are you in such a hurry for? We shall be in time.

ANDREY. I’m afraid my wife may stop me.

CHEBUTIKIN. Ah!

ANDREY. I shan’t play to-night, I shall only sit and look on. I don’t feel very well… What am I to do for my asthma, Ivan Romanovitch?

CHEBUTIKIN. Don’t ask me! I don’t remember, old fellow, I don’t know.

ANDREY. Let’s go through the kitchen. [They go out.]

[A bell rings, then a second time; voices and laughter are heard.]

IRINA. [Enters] What’s that?

ANFISA. [Whispers] The entertainers! [Bell.]

IRINA. Tell them there’s nobody at home, nurse. They must excuse us.

[ANFISA goes out. IRINA walks about the room deep in thought; she is excited. SOLENI enters.]

SOLENI. [In surprise] There’s nobody here… Where are they all?

IRINA. They’ve gone home.

SOLENI. How strange. Are you here alone?

IRINA. Yes, alone. [A pause] Good-bye.

SOLENI. Just now I behaved tactlessly, with insufficient reserve. But you are not like all the others, you are noble and pure, you can see the truth… You alone can understand me. I love you, deeply, beyond measure, I love you.

IRINA. Good-bye! Go away.

SOLENI. I cannot live without you. [Follows her] Oh, my happiness! [Through his tears] Oh, joy! Wonderful, marvellous, glorious eyes, such as I have never seen before…

IRINA. [Coldly] Stop it, Vassili Vassilevitch!

SOLENI. This is the first time I speak to you of love, and it is as if I am no longer on the earth, but on another planet. [Wipes his forehead] Well, never mind. I can’t make you love me by force, of course… but I don’t intend to have any more-favoured rivals… No… I swear to you by all the saints, I shall kill my rival… Oh, beautiful one!

[NATASHA enters with a candle; she looks in through one door, then through another, and goes past the door leading to her husband’s room.]