Take What You Want

‘Oh, you’re up!’ she exclaimed, pushing open the door and entering the room to reveal a tray laden with fruit juice, ham and eggs, toast and marmalade. ‘I was going to give you breakfast in bed. You looked rather tired last night and I told your father you looked as though you could do with a rest.’

Sophie forced a smile. ‘I’m fine, really I am. But it was kind of you, Mummy.’

‘Well, why don’t you put on your dressing gown and pop back into bed?’ suggested Laura, making room on the bedside table for the tray. ‘It’s a dull morning and there’s absolutely nothing for you to get up for. Your father won’t be back from surgery for another half hour and then you can come down and have coffee with him.’

Sophie hesitated. She wasn’t hungry and the prospect of tackling all the food on the tray made her feel slightly sick. But perhaps it was better to hide her lack of appetite up here where she could always dispose of some of it down the lavatory.

‘All right,’ she agreed, pulling on the frilly flowersprigged white wrapper which matched the nightdress she had just shed. ‘I’ll be lazy for once.’

Laura settled the tray across her legs and then stood looking down at her thoughtfully while Sophie manfully swallowed the fruit juice. ‘Are you all right, darling?’ she asked unexpectedly.

Sophie coloured and almost choked on the grapefruit juice. ‘Why—of course,’ she managed, clearing her throat. ‘Shouldn’t I be?’

Laura shook her head. ‘Yes, of course.’ She paused. ‘Graham White came over here last week to enquire when you were due home. I think he’s looking forward to seeing you again.’

Sophie put down her glass. ‘Graham White? Oh, you mean that boy from Trefyddol.’

‘Yes. You know Graham. His father and yours play golf occasionally together.’

‘Oh, yes.’ Conscious of Laura’s gaze Sophie picked up the fork and lifted a tiny button mushroom into her mouth. ‘I don’t know him awfully well. He’s at college, isn’t he?’

‘Yes. He’s just completed his first year.’ Laura bit her lip. ‘I invited him over next weekend, as a matter of fact. I thought you and he might have a game of tennis together.’

‘Oh, Mummy!’ Sophie couldn’t hide her dismay now. ‘I can play tennis with Simon and—and Robert!’

‘I know that. And I’m sure Simon will be only too willing to give you a game, but Robert may be—rather busy.’

Sophie concentrated her attention on her plate. ‘That’s all right, I don’t mind. I can amuse myself.’

‘But you should have friends of your own age, Sophie!’ protested Laura. ‘You’ve spent too much time with Simon and Robert.’

Sophie looked up. ‘Honestly, Mummy, you don’t have to make plans for me. I’m quite capable of entertaining myself.’ She moved her shoulders awkwardly. ‘Actually, I’m thinking of getting a job.’

The idea had only just occurred to her, but Laura was not to know that, and her stepmother’s face assumed an anxious expression.

‘A job, Sophie? Oh, I don’t think your father would want you to do that.’

‘Why not?’ It wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.

‘Well——’ Laura spread her hands. ‘You’ve only just finished school. I think he hopes you’ll spend this year before you go to university with us.’

Sophie decided she might as well get hanged for a sheep as for a lamb. ‘I haven’t decided whether I want to go to university yet, Mummy,’ she said quietly.

‘What? Not go to university?’ Laura was horrified. ‘Oh, don’t be silly, Sophie, of course you’re going to university. Your father has great hopes for you. I’m sure you wouldn’t dream of letting him down like that!’

Sophie pursed her lips. ‘University isn’t everything,’ she insisted.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, I—I might want to do something else. Get—married, for example.’

‘Married?’ Laura shook her head impatiently. ‘Sophie, you’re talking nonsense, and you know it. Good heavens, you’re only seventeen! You can’t seriously be considering abandoning your studies for—for something as distant as marriage!’

Sophie sniffed. ‘As I said, I haven’t decided yet.’

‘Well, I’m pretty sure if you tell this to your father, he’ll be terribly hurt. Sophie, I know he loves the boys—I know he’s always treated them as his own sons, but they’re not—ultimately. You are his daughter. Surely that must mean something to you. Surely you’ll allow him to do for you what he has done for the boys?’

Sophie moved uncomfortably. Laura was right, of course. If she did decide not to go on with her education her father would be very disappointed. Hurt, too, if she was honest.

Sighing, she pushed the tray aside. ‘I’m sorry, Mummy, I’m not very hungry right now.’

Laura, who had taken a few steps towards the door, came back to the bed. She looked troubled. ‘And I’m sorry, too, Sophie,’ she said heavily. ‘It’s your first morning at home and already I’m upsetting you. I think we’d better leave things as they are for the time being. There’s no hurry, whatever you decide.’

Sophie felt suddenly terribly guilty. ‘Oh, Mummy!’ she exclaimed, and scrambling up on to her knees she hugged the older woman. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you either.’ She drew back to look into her face. ‘But I might get a job, you know. Lots of people do. Even—even if it’s just until I go to—to university.’

Laura’s expression cleared. She looked down at her stepdaughter affectionately. They had always had such a good relationship and she didn’t want to spoil that. There had never been any friction between them, any jealousy over Dr. Kemble or the boys. Nothing must change that.

‘All right, darling,’ she agreed with a smile. ‘We’ll talk about it. But not yet. Give your father a few days to get used to having you back again. He misses you, you know.’

Sophie sat back on her heels. ‘All right.’ She glanced round. ‘And now I think I’d better get dressed. I want to go outside and look around. I always enjoy my first few days at home getting used to things again.’

Laura picked up the tray and left her, apparently reassured by Sophie’s acquiescence. Sophie took off the frilly wrapper and rescued the denim jeans from the back of her wardrobe. Last summer she had taken a bath in them to shrink them to her body, but now she found they scarcely fitted. She had filled out in all the right places, but the jeans didn’t give in the way her skin did. She sighed. They were all she had and they would have to do until she had had time to do some shopping. With a grimace she pulled on a navy blue tee-shirt with a caricature of a once well-loved pop star on the front, and tugged a brush through her long, silvery fair hair.

She encountered Simon on the landing outside his bedroom, and when he saw her he fell back with assumed horror.

‘My God!’ he exclaimed humorously. ‘You don’t intend going outside these four walls in those things, do you?’

Sophie wrinkled her nose at him good-naturedly. ‘Don’t you like the way I look?’

Simon gave a mocking smile. ‘Oh, yes. I like it. But I don’t somehow think your father will.’

Sophie sighed and pulled impatiently at the tightfitting pants. ‘I can’t help it. I shrank them last year and now they’re too small.’

‘Get your coat and I’ll take you into Hereford to buy some more,’ suggested Simon reasonably. ‘I’m free this morning.’

Sophie was tempted, but she hadn’t been downstairs yet. She didn’t know what Robert might be doing. The only thing she could be certain of was that he would surely not ask her to join him.

‘I’m not sure …’ she began awkwardly, and Simon assumed a tolerant expression. ‘Rob’s not in,’ he commented laconically, and she started at the mention of his name. ‘He’s gone sailing with John. They arranged it last night.’

‘Oh! Oh, I see.’ Sophie managed to shrug and walked to the head of the stairs. ‘Is Daddy back yet?’ Simon frowned. ‘That sounds like his car now.’ He paused. ‘Shall we go to Hereford?’

Sophie looked back at him. ‘All right. If—if you like.’ She looked down the stairs as her father’s footsteps could be heard on the flags outside the front door. ‘But I promised I’d have coffee with Daddy first.’

‘Okay.’ Simon made her a mock bow and opened his bedroom door. ‘I’ll be ready in half an hour.’

Simon was right in his assumption that Dr. Kemble would not approve of the revealing jeans. ‘You can’t go out in those, Sophie,’ he exclaimed, as they sat together in his study, companionably sharing a pot of coffee. Laura had tactfully left them alone, and Sophie was almost happy sitting in the huge leather chair opposite her father in the book-lined room she had loved for most of her life.

‘Simon says he’ll take me to Hereford to buy some more,’ she replied, sipping the aromatic beverage with real enjoyment. ‘The only thing is …’