For The Love Of Sara

“Get rid of the watchdog and come outside and talk to me!” he snapped harshly. “We have things to say to one another which I don’t intend to discuss under Mrs. Grundy’s gaze!”

“Rachel —”

Hanson would have come forward then, but she gestured for him to keep out of this. “Joel, I realise you think you require an explanation —”

“You’re damn right, I do!”

“Your father promised he wouldn’t tell you —”

“Oh, did he? Big of him!”

“— and now he has —”

“Correction — Francis saw you together.”

“Oh, God!”

“He won’t help you now!” Joel glared coldly at her. “Now, do you get rid of your boy-friend, or do I?”

“Joel, I mean it!” she exclaimed unsteadily. “I — I can’t talk to you now. Colonel Frenshaw is waiting for his breakfsat, and — and —”

“Rachel, I warn you —”

She wrung her hands then. “All right, Joel, all right. I will talk to you. But not now. Not here. Not like this.” She glanced behind her again. “C—could you come back later? This — this afternoon, perhaps?”

Joel thrust his hands into his jacket pockets. If he hadn’t he felt sure he would have taken hold of her and shaken her until her teeth chattered. Standing there, talking about getting Colonel Frenshaw’s breakfast, when he had driven over two hundred miles to get the truth out of her. But losing his temper, making a scene here, would do no good. In fact she would be quite within her rights to refuse to speak to him again, and he had no rights here whatsoever. This was private property. Without anyone’s permission to remain, he was trespassing, and Hanson would see to it that Rachel was made aware of this.

Controlling himself with difficulty, he said: “Very well, this afternoon. What time?”

Rachel gave a nervous shrug. “I don’t know. Two o’clock — half past?”

“Two o’clock,” agreed Joel grimly, and without trusting himself to say another word, he strode back to his car. The door had closed before he had started the engine and he pressed his foot hard down on the accelerator and had the childish pleasure of spraying the station wagon with the gravel torn up by his rear wheels.

He spent the morning by a beck he found a few miles further along the road to Cragstone. He didn’t return to Langthwaite even when the natural demands of his body required relief, and although he was hungry by one o’clock he contented himself with a cheroot and a can of beer he kept in the glove compartment for emergencies. The beer was warm, and he grimaced as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. If there was one thing he detested it was warm beer.

But it was pleasant by the beck, and the sun was warm on his face as he stretched his length on the bracken. If Erica had been with him she would no doubt have been chiding him for risking ruining his clothes in this way, but then Erica, being in the fashion business, was always conscious of appearances.

At a quarter to two he got up, brushed himself down, and walked back ot the car. The sky had become overcast within the last half hour, and even as he stepped into the vehicle he felt a spot of rain touch his face. Grimacing at the weather, he reversed out on to the road and turned back towards Langthwaite. By the time he reached the rise from which he could see the sprawling grey mass of the Hall below him, it was raining quite heavily, and he hoped Rachel would not expect the weather to deter him.

He drew up beside the shabby station wagon just after two o’clock, and instead of getting out of the car to go to the door, he sounded the horn. It was an arrogant thing to do, and he knew it, but his feelings would not allow him any weakness or compassion.

Minutes passed, and no one came, and his temper simmered. Damn the woman, where was she? She knew he would come. Why the hell hadn’t she been waiting for him? But he knew deep inside him that Rachel was not likely to be intimidated by what she would term an immature attempt to disconcert her.

With a sigh, he thrust open his door and got out, scowling as within seconds his shoulders were wet. He ran for the porch, and as he reached it, the door opened and Rachel appeared. She looked surprised to see him, but he was convinced she had been waiting for him to get out of the car before showing herself.

He sheltered in the porchway as she closed the door behind her, his expression not encouraging. “Very clever!” he observed coldly. “But rather childish, don’t you think?”

She looked up at him with wide, innocent hazel eyes. “What are you talking about?”

Joel opened his mouth to berate her, and then closed it again. He shook his head, and glanced briefly at her clothes. She was still wearing the shirt and slacks from the morning, but the apron had been replaced by a fur-lined poplin coat. Its dark green colour accentuated the pallor of her cheeks, and for a moment compassion stirred within him.

“Do you want me to bring the car nearer?” he asked.

She shook her head now. “I’m used to walking in the rain,” she replied. “Shall we go?”

Taking the initiative, she stepped out from the porch, and with a suppressed oath, Joel strode ahead of her to open the car doors. She got into the front seat without looking at him, and he slammed the door more violently than was necessary before walking round the bonnet to join her.

Once inside, he examined the shoulders of his jacket, and finding them soaked, he took his jacket off and slung it carelessly on to the back seat. Then he indicated that she might like to do the same, but she silently refused. Shrugging, he started the engine and drove down the drive, halting at the gates when she said:

“Where are you taking me? I have to be back in an hour.”

“An hour?” He glared sideways at her.

“Yes, an hour. Sara sleeps for that long in the afternoons. I have to be back before she awakes.”

Joel made no comment, but drove swiftly along the road towards the spot where he had parked this morning. There was room there to park the car off the road, and it was remote enough, goodness knows. Rachel said nothing as they drove along, and Joel wondered whether she was composing what she was going to say to him. For himself, anger simmered too near the surface for him to think with reasonable logic, and he had to force himself not to stop the car there and then and demand that she stop this ridiculous charade she was playing.

It didn’t take long to reach the beck, and Joel stopped the car on the layby and reached automatically for a cheroot. Without asking her permission, he lit it and inhaled deeply, rolling down his window half way to allow the fumes to escape.

“Well?” he said at last, when she still made no attempt to speak to him. “What’s it all about?”

Rachel linked her hands together in her lap. “What’s what all about?”

“Don’t give me that, Rachel. We both know what I’m talking about. I want to know how you came to know my father well enough for him to ask you to marry him.”

Rachel lifted her slim shoulders. “I — I’ve known him for years, Joel. You know that.”

Joel chewed impatiently at the end of the cheroot. “Because I introduced you?” He scowled. “That won’t do, Rachel. I can count on one hand the number of times you met my father through me. We were not — we have never been — the best of friends, and you know it!”

“I — I was only explaining that — that it’s some years since I first met him, that’s all.”

“I am aware of that.”

“I know you are.” She curled her nails into her palms. “W-Why should it strike you as so extraordinary that your father should want to — to marry me? He — he always — liked me.”

Joel’s mouth thinned. “Rachel, for God’s sake —”

“Oh, Joel, stop it! Stop it!” She put her hands over her ears. “Why did you come here? What do you hope to achieve? Everything between us was over long ago. You know that. You have no right to question what I intend to do.”

“Haven’t I?” Joel stared at her furiously. “Haven’t I, just! My God, you’re a cool one! Did you really think you could agree to marry my father without arousing any reaction from me?”

“What’s it to do with you?”

“You want to be my stepmother, is that it? You love my father now as you once said you loved me? Oh, come off it, Rachel, it won’t do! What is it? Some rotten attempt at revenge? Is this intended to show me what might have been?”

“And what if it is?” she burst out hotly. “What can you do about it?”

There was silence for a few moments and Joel stared grimly out of the windows at the falling rain. He couldn’t believe it! He simply couldn’t believe it! Rachel wasn’t like that. Or at least, she hadn’t been. But then it was years since they had split up. She had married since then, had a child. Who knew what manner of life she had led to bring her to this.