Another Woman's Son

“I’ll be glad when your mother and father come over tomorrow and you don’t tell them immediately.”

“You hope that’s the way it goes?” His doubts almost made her laugh. “You have to be kidding. If I wasn’t able to tell you—when you were living the lie that changed me into a cynic—how could I tell my mom? She might feel better, but Tony would lose the last stable figure he’s known.”

“His father.”

“His father, Ben. I agree with you.”

The silence told her he doubted her. Just about the time she was getting angry, he nudged her elbow with his. “What are you going to do about the house?”

She pushed the swing back. “I don’t think Will filed for divorce, and I was too busy finding a job. If the place still belongs to me, I’ll sell it.” She glanced his way. “Meanwhile, you have to decide if you want Will’s half of our assets for Tony.”

“Not a chance. I don’t want anything from that bastard.”

Cold crept through her coat and her pajamas. “What if Tony needs the money when he’s older? We’re not talking a simple piggy bank. This is a lot of capital.”

“Give it to Leah. If the truth comes out, she can decide whether she should help her grandson.”

“I’m serious about not trusting Leah. I could turn over everything Will and I owned together and she’d still look for any crumbs I might have forgotten. She married into a mainline Philadelphia family, and she’ll protect her name with her last breath. The more money to bolster her position, the better. You can’t trust her finer qualities, Ben. You definitely shouldn’t make Tony beholden to her.”

“I won’t touch a penny Will ever made—especially not for my son. I provide for Tony.”

Isabel opened her mouth to suggest he wait until he wasn’t so angry, but it was pointless. She didn’t need his permission to ask her lawyer about creating a trust fund for Tony. “After I get out from under all this, I’m heading back to Middleburg. I love the horses and the trees and the farms. I’m not important enough to matter. No one looks at me with pity. No one expects me to be Mrs. Will Barker.”

“We’ll talk about your plans after you sell the house.”

His domineering note struck a nerve. Will had always tried to steer their lives toward the image he wanted.

“You’re upset.” She tried to start out gently. “And I’ve made it worse by talking about Will, but trying to push me around won’t change anything for you.”

The swing went forward and back. The metal chains sang a high-pitched, mournful tune until Ben stopped their motion.

“Don’t talk about leaving now.” He pushed the swing again, hard. “Please.”

That “please” obviously cost him. She softened. “I won’t.” But was she falling into old habits? Trying to please a man whose gruff tone threatened to withhold affection? She gripped her armrest. “As long as you realize I’m no longer Will’s amenable little wife. I was afraid he’d leave me, I guess, but I’d rather be left than play those kinds of games.”

He turned to her. A stranger behind Ben’s face who gave nothing away. Where was her old friend, loving, lovable, demonstrative Ben? “Thank you,” he said.

She was right to doubt him. He wanted her here for some reason. She didn’t understand, and she assumed it was going to hurt someday, but he might be correct about Tony needing familiar faces.

Ice crept between her collar and her neck. She shivered. From the snow? Or from doubts about Ben?

She turned toward the house, drawn to the faint glow of a night-light Faith had always left on in Tony’s room.

Face it. In Ben’s shoes she’d lie to keep Tony, and she’d keep on until someone caught her.

“I’d better go in,” he said. “I don’t like leaving him alone.” Standing, he held out his hand. “You should come, too. If you fall asleep out here, we’ll find you in an ice block in the morning.”

She tried to laugh. “Ben, what if we came clean? We could work out visitation for everyone.”

“Are you out of your mind? Didn’t you hear what I said?”

“I’m willing to lie because it’s best for Tony, but all the lies got us into this mess.” Gut-sucking tragedy, she meant. “Wouldn’t you have divorced Faith and been civil if she and Will had told us the truth?”

“After Tony came?” He started up the deck stairs. “I’d have killed her and buried her in the cellar, because I’d never have seen Tony again. And neither she nor Will would have believed they were denying me anything.”

“Stop.” If she hadn’t known him better than she knew even her own parents, she might have believed in his threats. She grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. “I know you. Don’t talk like that. You are not that kind of man.”

“I want to be.” Unshed tears weighted his voice. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, refusing to believe in the bad man he was trying to become.

He held her off for a moment, and then his arms came around her, almost too tight. Neither of them spoke, and she listened to his rough breathing. She’d been as angry as he was. It felt like sporting a cement foundation on your chest.

“Nothing hurts as much now that we’re together,” she said.

“I’m not so sure.”

“Because I didn’t tell you? If I could have asked you if you wanted to know, maybe I would have gone straight to you, instead of to Middleburg. I doubt it though. Will seemed surprised I was so hurt. Faith tried to call me a couple of times, but I never gave her a chance to speak. I kept hoping they’d realize how wrong they were, and they’d break off their affair. You’d never have to know.”

He looked down at her with his stranger’s face. “Do you believe that?”

She tried. If she could make herself believe, maybe she could convince him. But she was done with being an idiot, and he’d never let anyone past his suspicions.

“No.” She stepped away from him. “And I’m cold.”

“We don’t have to pretend with each other,” he said.

“They pretended to love us for years. That’s why I hate the lies. I was blind to Will, and I don’t want to be the same as he was.”

“He must have loved you once.”

“Because Faith loved you?”

He took her hand, but she’d bet it was an unconscious response. “Maybe she only used me to get close to Will. You were already engaged by the time she and I met.”

“Hold on.” Alarm bells rang in her head. “We can’t let them make us think we’re not worth loving, and I won’t turn into one of those women who refuses to trust because one man cheated on me.” Another lie. She hadn’t fully trusted Will since he’d first strayed. She tugged her hand out of Ben’s, more interested in standing on her own two feet.

Ben let her go. “I’m more worried about being so angry I make Tony forget how to be happy.”

“You’re a good dad. You won’t do that.”

“Thanks, Isabel.” He took the first two stairs in one stride. “I needed that.”

He seemed to feel better, but she noticed the beginnings of a headache and a thick coating of ice in her shoes. Too many moral questions to ponder around here.

“What are you going to do in the morning?” he asked.

“Start on the house.” A labor that would have unmanned Hercules. “I have to sort our things.”

“Let me help. Make a list of what you want to keep and we’ll go through the rest.”