The Dollmaker

Before she stepped out, she glanced over her shoulder. “I won’t go far, Claire. You need anything, you holler, hear?”

“I will.”

After she and Charlotte disappeared into the hallway, Alex came around to stand at the side of Claire’s bed. “What was that all about?” He jerked his head toward the door. “Lucille acts like she’s afraid to leave you alone with me.”

“It’s not that. She’s just worried about me.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear it.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “I know she’s never been my biggest fan, but I’d hate her to think that you’re afraid of me.”

“She doesn’t think anything of the sort. But I still don’t understand why you’re here, Alex. You could have called to find out how I’m doing.”

His amiable smile faltered. “Like I said, I wanted to see for myself that you’re okay.”

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m not your responsibility anymore.”

“Not my responsibility?” His lips pinched together as he stared down at her. “You think I can just turn off my feelings because you want me to? You think I’ll stop caring just because you’re divorcing me?”

“We both agreed to the divorce.”

“Because you left me no other choice. It’s not what I want and you know it.”

Claire stared at the ceiling. Why was she letting him get to her like this? Their marriage was over. The decision had been made and it was time to move on. Time to pull the plug on all her guilt. “I don’t want to do this. Not now.”

“I don’t want to do this, either. I didn’t come down here to fight with you, Claire. It scared the hell out of me when I heard what happened to you.”

“I’m sorry you were worried.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. I’m just glad you weren’t seriously hurt.” He took her hand and squeezed it. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“Are you asking as a cop?”

“Just humor me, Claire.”

She slipped her hand from his. “Didn’t Charlotte fill you in on the details?”

“Her account was pretty sketchy. She said you stepped in front of a car, but I have to believe there’s more to the story than that.”

“Not really. It was an accident. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I ran out in front of a car. It was my fault.”

“What about the doll she said you saw in a shop window?”

Claire heard the edge in his voice and turned her head to the window so that she wouldn’t have to see his face. Raindrops ran down the glass in tiny rivers. She watched one of the streams split in two and slide off in separate directions. “You don’t really want to hear about the doll,” she said quietly.

He sighed. “No, I probably don’t, but why don’t you tell me about it anyway?”

Claire kept her gaze focused on the window. “She looks exactly like Ruby.”

“Claire.” He said her name so tenderly her eyes welled with tears. “Why are you doing this?”

“I’m not doing anything.” Her voice trembled in spite of her resolve. “You asked about the doll and I’m telling you what I saw.”

“You can’t keep tormenting yourself this way.”

“That’s not what I’m doing, and even if I am, it’s no longer your concern. Just forget it, Alex.”

“Like hell I will.” He got up from the bed and strode over to close the door. When he turned back, Claire could see the anger and frustration on his face. “Let me ask you something. When was the last time you spotted a kid that you thought looked like Ruby?”

Claire remembered the girl she’d seen on the street earlier, and lifted her chin. “This is different.”

“Different than what? The one you saw on the playground that you took pictures of? Different than the time you followed another little girl and her mother home from the mall? You thought she looked exactly like Ruby, too. So you got out of your car and beat on their front door until the poor woman became so frightened she called the cops. If I hadn’t gotten wind of the situation, you would have been hauled in and booked.”

Claire listened to everything he said, and then she shrugged. “I don’t care what you think, this is different. I know what I saw.”

He shook his head, at a loss. “I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to help you.”

“You could try believing me.”

“That’s the one thing I can’t do. I can’t feed this obsession of yours, Claire. I won’t. Because I know how it’s going to turn out. You’ll get yourself all worked up again and then your heart’s going to be ripped open like it always is. I’ve seen it happen over and over, and this time won’t be any different. It’s been seven years. Seven damn years. You can’t spend the rest of your life grieving like this. You have to find a way to get over what happened.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he walked toward the window. “I don’t know, maybe you need to see someone.”

“I’ve been to a therapist. It didn’t solve anything.”

“Then maybe you need to find a different one. You have to do something.”

“I’m not crazy, Alex.”

“You will be if you keep this up. I don’t want you ending up like your old man.”

She gasped. “I would never do that!”

“I don’t want to believe it, either, but sometimes I have to wonder.” He stared out at the weather, his frustration collecting on his face like raindrops on the windowsill. “I see divorces in the department all the time. They’re as common as dirt. Cops just can’t seem to stay married. But most of the time it’s because of another woman or the lousy pay or because the wife gets sick of her man rolling around in the gutter before he comes home to her.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “But none of those things were ever our problem, were they? What did us in was that what you had was never going to be as important as what you lost.”

“That’s not fair,” she said. “My daughter was kidnapped. That’s not something you ever get over.”

“I’m not talking about Ruby.”

The nerves in Claire’s stomach tightened and she closed her eyes briefly. “Don’t say it.”

His face went white with suppressed fury. “You mean I’m not even allowed to mention the son of a bitch’s name? Well, I don’t know why that should surprise me. From the moment he showed up on your doorstep the night we got married, I never stood a chance, did I, Claire?”

“That’s not true. Our problems had nothing to do with him. I haven’t even seen him in years.”

“When’s the last time you dreamed about him?”

She looked away, silent.

“You can’t even deny it, can you?” Alex scrubbed a hand down his face and drew a long breath. “Believe it or not, I didn’t come over here to start something with you, Claire. I just want to help you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Then let me go,” she whispered.