The Drowning Child

How the fuck did I get here?

2 (#ulink_c933cc40-e3de-536d-9e4e-cb2a50f5c2f4)

Special Agent Ren Bryce was sitting in Manny’s Bar on 38th and Walnut in Denver.

It has been six months since my last alcoholic beverage.

She was five beers down.

Until tonight.

It was six months since a shooting at the Rocky Mountain Safe Streets Task Force, when a serial killer called Duke Rawlins had taken the lives of two of her friends and colleagues, and her boyfriend of one year, Ben Rader.

She picked up her cell phone.

Don’t.

She put it down, slumped back in the bar stool, closed her eyes.

What if that had no back on it oh my God I am so fucking hammered imagine falling off a bar stool hitting your head and dying what a way to go appropriate Jesus.

She opened her eyes, and picked up her phone again. She went into Album.

Don’t.

She found a photo of the boyfriend she had yet to call her former, her late … Ben Rader. The Late Ben Rader.

Tears filled her eyes.In the photo, Ben was cooking, smiling at her over his shoulder. He had a beaming smile, and was one of the most beautiful men she had ever known; short, tanned, dark-haired, fit.

You look so young.

A man as handsome as Ben Rader could have relied on his looks, developed nothing more than his body, but Ben developed a soul that radiated kindness.

I loved watching you cook Jesus you’re dead now you’re fucking dead this is so screwed up dead Jesus and you only look about eighteen you are so hot were no I can’t do past tense are are are amazing arms steady grip strength of all kinds love love love gone gone gone stop stop stop.

She still had his texts; they felt like a weight in her phone that she was always aware of, but could never remove.

Can’t imagine ever sending another loving text filthy text miss-you text to any other man I don’t want a stranger in my bed I don’t want another man in my head.

Her cell phone rang. GARY flashed on the screen.

No way.

Her boss, Supervisory Special Agent, Gary Dettling.

Yeah hey Gary I’m in Manny’s yeah the bar where the serial killer who killed our friends picked up one of his victims yeah what is that telling you what is it telling me who fucking cares have you been drinking Ren yes Gary two beers and I’m about to leave …

She let it go to voicemail.

Gary left a message, and followed it with a text.

Call me – CARD

Shit.

Three months earlier, she and Gary had joined the North West Region’s Child Abduction Rapid Deployment team – CARD. There were sixty members in the country, split across five regions, ready to deploy at the invitation of local law enforcement to help in the crucial early stages of a child disappearance or abduction. Though an invitation was welcome, it wasn’t a requirement – when it came to a ‘child of tender years’, twelve years old and under, the FBI was automatically involved, whether there was an interstate element or not.

Ren called him back.

Breathe speak slowly breathe speak slowly enunciate.

‘Hi, Gary – sorry I missed you.’

‘Get a good night’s sleep,’ said Gary. ‘We’re—’ He paused. ‘Where are you?’

Um … ‘On my way home.’

‘From a bar?’

‘From a bar.’

Pause. ‘We’re booked on a six a.m. flight to Portland, Oregon, heading for the town of Tate. Missing twelve-year-old boy: Caleb Veir, last seen by his father at seven forty-five this morning when he left the family home to take the fifteen-minute walk to school.’

‘OK.’ Say as little as possible.

Pause. ‘Ren—’

‘See you at five.’Ren hung up.

Step away from the phone.

She put it on the bar, picked up her beer and drank the last of it. She ordered another. She checked her watch.

Ugh Denver airport five a.m.

Denver airport – where memories flew at her like razors, where she had welcomed Ben, kissed him, hugged him, seen him off. Denver airport – the last place she was before she drove home to find out that he had been killed.

She looked back at his photograph as she waited for her drink.

That’s it. Life over.

I should have taken more photos.

Her stomach turned.

You were an asshole to him that night anyway just delete it you were always an asshole to him he loved you and you were an asshole.

She started to cry.