I Confess

‘The time of our lives,’ said Murph.

Everyone put in their orders, and Johnny started to make the drinks.

‘Speaking of time,’ said Clare, ‘this is very early for pre-dinner drinks. This could go horribly wrong.’

Johnny handed her a gin and tonic. ‘Starting now.’

‘That’s my fault,’ said Helen. ‘I can’t last very long in the evenings these days. So apologies to all of you for tomorrow’s hangovers.’

‘Who says I’m going to have a hangover?’ said Clare.

‘As Johnny hands everyone a massive drink,’ said Helen. ‘You’ll all be dying in the morning.’

‘Not me,’ said Patrick, pointing to his 7UP.

‘Do you not drink?’ said Laura.

‘No,’ said Patrick. ‘I gave up years ago.’

‘Why’s that?’ said Laura. ‘Health reasons?’

Patrick nodded. ‘I guess so. Stopped one January and never looked back.’

‘Hey – that’s Clare’s line,’ said Johnny. ‘“Never look back”.’

‘“Eyes ahead” is my line!’ said Clare.

‘It’s “eyes ahead”,’ said Murph at the same time.

‘Relax, the pair of you,’ said Johnny.

Clare looked around the room. ‘You’re all an appalling influence and I know I’m going to end end up in some “District Court Judge in Drinking Shame” situation.’

‘We’re well tucked away here,’ said Johnny. ‘What happens in Pilgrim Point stays in Pilgrim Point.’

‘I’d say any fart I crack off tonight after a rake of pints will go well beyond the boundaries,’ said Murph.

‘Any development on the spa?’ said Clare.

‘Well, the plans are drawn up,’ said Edie, ‘but before we can put in for planning, we have to get an archaeological survey done. And there’s no point getting it done at this time of year, so we’re looking at March for that. And on and on.’

‘Ooh,’ said Murph, sucking in a breath, ‘Johnny fucked up there.’

‘What?’ said Edie. She flashed warning eyes at Murph. ‘No, he didn’t.’

‘Sorry,’ said Murph. ‘He just looked a little—’

‘Bored,’ said Edie.

Johnny frowned. ‘I’m not bored, I’m—’

‘I’m teasing,’ said Edie. ‘The chapel is Johnny’s thing.’

‘The chapel’s not “my thing”,’ said Johnny. ‘It’s—’

‘Jesus, lads,’ said Murph. ‘You’ve got visitors. Did your mammies not teach you anything?’

‘So, what are the plans for the chapel?’ said Patrick.

‘Well …’ said Johnny.

‘Well …’ said Edie.

‘What I think we should be doing,’ said Johnny, ‘is corporate events or yoga retreats or conferences or gigs or whatever. We’re in the perfect spot – away from it all, no mobile coverage unless you want to use WhatsApp, no distractions—’

‘And the views,’ said Clare. ‘And the Wild Atlantic Way.’

Murph turned to Edie. ‘And what do you think you should be doing with it?’

‘Not talking about it tonight,’ said Edie, giving him a bright smile.

‘And on and on it goes,’ said Edie. ‘That’s why it’s sort of … in limbo.’

‘Or “under renovation”, as I like to call it,’ said Johnny.

They fell into silence.

‘So,’ said Johnny, turning to Laura, ‘how are you? How are the kid … s?’

‘Good one,’ said Laura. ‘Yes, I’ve more than one. And they’re alive. After that … well, Mammy’s on the lash, isn’t she?’ She took a long sip of her drink.

Murph laughed. ‘Johnny’s like “thank fuck we got that out of the way”.’

‘I hate people banging on about their kids on a night out,’ said Laura.

‘It was a genuine question,’ said Johnny.

‘And have you any more question … s?’ said Murph.

‘Ah, give him a break,’ said Laura. ‘He’s had a fair few knocks to the head over the years. Children: Séamus, seven, Paddy, five: healthy, happy, and tapped.’

‘And the father?’ said Johnny. ‘Both Frank’s?’ He smiled.

‘Johnny!’ said Edie.

‘I see a lot of Brad Pitt in Séamus,’ said Laura.

Johnny turned to Clare. ‘What about your lot?’